I have been in Tequisquiapan for 10 days now, which means that tomorrow at this time, it will be the longest period I have spent in the same place since August began. Five months full of exciting events, although the first half of the year was already very exciting. Now I live here alone in a house that could accommodate an extended family. At the same time, it is probably the longest period of time in the last six months that I have been able to spend my life mainly on my own. My daily routine depends entirely on me, and I have enjoyed not having one for a while. For example, I haven’t set my alarm clock for several days. Phew.
Isabella is a dog who also lives alone here in the house. I have become friends with her. It is really challenging to make the transition from a travelling to a stationary lifestyle. Because the stationary periods have been very limited lately, there is a part of me that just wants to wait and see and not get too used to this place, because then it will hurt less when I leave again. The other part of me would suffer greatly if I just waited and saw. The part of me that wants to settle down longs to be embedded in social organisms, even though I know that it is the journey in which I feel at home. I feel the longing within me to share this path with someone. I share parts of the path with many people, but no one knows it completely. That is probably part of being human.
No one will ever see us the way we see ourselves. That is both a curse and a blessing. It is a call to continually choose to take responsibility for our own path. After all, I cannot demand that anyone else see or understand my path. Perhaps, the path may not want to be understood; it wants to be walked and taken seriously. It wants to be loved and enjoyed.
Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.
It’s Christmas, which means the year is almost over. This year, for the first time, I feel that it’s justified for the year to come to an end. I have lived enough for this year. I am eagerly awaiting renewal. 2025 will be the year of my great beginnings for a long time to come. At the same time, it is also the year of completion. Three years of student life are coming to an end. I have freed my studies from institutionalisation. In doing so, I have created the best conditions to never stop learning.
I no longer need an institution to “support” me in learning. Above all, I don’t need the company of an educational system that increasingly reproduces uniform patterns of thought, which teach less and less how to think, but increasingly see it as their task to influence what may be thought if one wants to be a respected member of “society”. However here, “society” means the coming together of people who remain strangers to each other forever. Together, yet alone, is the mode of the information age.
I have freed myself, from intellectual training wheels, because they were only offered to me together with blinders.
Now life supports my learning process.
It is this life that has led me to Mexico, far away from all my loved ones, whom I enjoy gathering around me during the Christmas season. Condemned to take new people into my heart, knowing full well that I will soon have to leave them again. Not because I need to leave, but because I am drawn to other places. “Towards” is the movement of my life.
Towards adventures, towards my calling on the OMNIBUS, towards my calling to the Lake Constance, and back again to whatever necessity arises from these callings.
And to remain openhearted!